Healing for Your Heart Wounds

People support each other in a rehab session

Betrayal, Abandonment, Sexual Abuse, Death – Heart Wounders

Heart wounds can leave a person in emotional or mental chains unable to find their purpose and lacking joy in living. Have you ever had someone betray, forsake, or rob you of something precious? Have you ever lost someone you loved deeply? Before this life is over, you may have experienced one or more of these things, or you’ve known people who have. These painful experiences run much deeper than some of life’s “normal” frustrations and disappointments. How can you move on and heal? God hears your pain and wants to make you free. He has placed you in relationships for your good.

We can all be a part of the healing process in the lives of those around us. Scripture depicts the Body of Christ, collective believers of the Christian faith, in an metaphorical description. We are to work like a human body with each part having a purpose. None of us have it all. We are complete when we work in harmony, using the gifts God has given each of us. 1 Corinthians 12:12 explains we are a unit, composed of many parts. God never intended us to live in isolation.

When your heart has been broken, draw near to God. Seek Him by telling him how you feel. Invite him into your mess. Draw near to others who will listen. Scripture teaches in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “By yourself, you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. (The Message)” From the beginning of creation, God considered our need for others to help us. God made sure to make a companion for His first human being, a “helpmate,” thus the marriage relationship. Each person was intended to help the other become stronger. The blessing of having a caring-someone who listens is powerful. Yes, the ultimate Healer is God himself, but he did place us in community for a reason.

Perhaps, your heart wound is being saved, locked away inside you–you do not believe it can be shared. You may feel shame or blame associated with it. So your best option seems to be to “stuff it” in a secret place. The hiding of your pain will only compound your grief. It is healthy to be selective about who you share with. Having someone calm and accepting, someone you can trust with your pain, will empower you. Therapy is also recommended for severe wounds, but holding your burden inside is deadly. You need to be set free.

You Are Not Alone

If you think you can’t share because no one else will understand, you may be shocked. People don’t talk about difficult topics like sexual abuse because of the emotional complexities. Children who have experienced such betrayal, often from an adult they trusted, often become bound by guilt and shame. They are not the guilty party, but their innocence has been stolen leaving them feeling worthless and alone. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls have been abused by the time they are 18. If you think you are alone, you may be trying to hide a secret from someone who shares the same secret.

Another type of heart wound can be present with young women who have experienced an abortion, feeling trapped and incapable of handling an unplanned pregnancy. Many feel they cannot talk about their decision, which can be accompanied by guilt, regret, and even depression. Flashbacks and anniversary grief are not uncommon. Talking about these emotions with a trusted, compassionate person can release the secret and allow healing to begin. Post-abortion Bible studies are available through most Pregnancy Center ministries to help with your healing journey. God is merciful, and He hears your heart.

Forgiveness

Often forgiveness is a part of the healing and recovery process. Sometimes you are the one to ask for forgiveness, and other times, you may need to forgive the one who stole something from you — your innocence, your ability to trust, your sense of value as a person. Christ came to be our Healer, and through him we can ask forgiveness and become FREE to have relationship with God. Forgiveness is our model for freedom and healing. When you are stuck in bitterness and cannot let go, you will live like a victim. It may take time and effort to forgive those who have hurt you, but then you will find your victory and release from bondage.

Healing

Healing is possible, even with deep heart wounds. You can recover and find happiness. Don’t fear sharing with others you know can trust. Be aware of the need to listen to others who may also need you to hear their story. You are not alone with your grief. God is a God who adores you and none of your story will drive him away. Jesus said, in Matthew 11:28, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Receive his rest and seek his presence. You are not alone….

With love and prayers for all who have felt the trauma of “heart wounds.”

Enjoy this beautiful song: “Weary Traveler” by Jordan St. Cyr

“You weren’t meant to travel this road alone …”

And then … GLORY: “NO MORE NIGHT”

Keisha’s Story

Keisha, did you know? There is another side to the message that abortion is an “easy-out” of a difficult situation. People have been told that “the problem” disappears after an abortion– it’s finished and forgotten. However, yes, there is a “HOWEVER,” a growing body of research shows that abortion significantly increases the risk of 1) clinical depression and anxiety, 2) drug and alcohol abuse, 3) PTSD symptoms, and in some cases even some 4) suicidal thoughts and behavior. Keisha, does this mean you will absolutely¬†be impacted in this way? No. Does it mean there is a risk of an emotional toll, especially without any recovery intervention? Yes.¬†

tilt shift lens photography of woman wearing red sweater and white skirt while holding a boy wearing white and black crew neck shirt and blue denim short

Photo by Nicholas Githiri on Pexels.com

Keisha entered the clinic looking sharp that sunny afternoon. She was personable, well-dressed, and attractive. Keisha was already a mom, clearly a strong young woman who had managed to keep truckin’ even after a breakup with her son’s father. Now in her mid-twenties, she worked, and was self-supporting, though she did have family in the area.

“I never ask my parents for anything,” she said with pride in her voice. “I had never considered abortion as a life choice, at least not for me,” she said softening her tone. “But, I also told myself I would never go through another pregnancy by myself. I always said if I were to parent again, there would be an involved father.”

Keisha had indicated on her intake papers that she wanted abortion education. The nurse asked if she would like her to explain the different procedures and current state laws governing the procedure.

“Yes, I need to learn my options. The love of my life, my little Brady who is now four, is all I can handle on my own. I really can’t raise another baby by myself.” As she slowly and distinctly enunciated her words, Keisha’s eyes filled to the brim with quickly flowing tears.

After dobbing her eyes and regaining composure, she went on, breaking the tension with loving affirmation of her prized treasure, her son.

“Brady is the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said, with a huge smile. “Life is complicated, you know? But, nothing makes the day better than when he runs up and tackles me with his big hugs!”

“I am so glad you came in today, Keisha. You are still early in your pregnancy, and you won’t regret learning everything you can about your options before deciding.”

“I called some abortion clinics this week,” Keisha said, glancing down at the floor. “But, I hung up each time before I spoke with anyone. Then, I cried. Every time.” Looking up at the nurse and counselor, her eyes filled again. Restraining her emotions, she shifted the mood. “I even cried when I had to give my dog away,” she said with a chuckle.

“Actually, I really don’t know that I can go through with this,” she confessed in a soft voice.

“It’s okay to feel the weight of this decision, Keisha. This is a life with all the genetic DNA in place for its future, and a beating heart, even now. There is a lot to think about. Do you pray, Keisha?”

“Sometimes. I used to go to church with my grandma when I was little. I just got out of the habit after she passed away.”

“After you learn how the abortion procedure works at this stage of pregnancy, I encourage you to consider praying before you decide what to do.”

Keisha listened quietly, nodding her head in agreement.

“Since you are almost eight weeks from conception, this is what a medical abortion will look like. First you will be given a drug at the clinic, and that will cause the baby’s heart to stop. Twenty-four to forty-eight hours later you will take another drug, at home, which causes cramping to expell the fetus and placenta. Please have someone with you, Keisha, if you do this because you may need help. Risks include hemorrhaging and a possibility that not everything would come out leaving you vulnerable to infection. You could also see identifiable parts of the fetus if you are past eight weeks. You need to be prepared.”

Dear Father God,

Keisha needs you now in a very special way. Make your love, forgiveness, and provision visible to this young mom. Show her other options that she can’t see as possibilities at this moment. She loves her little Brady with all of her heart, and with such a tenderness, even for her pet, she may experience a broken heart that she cannot begin to foresee right now. I pray that she will reach out to you for answers and a lifegiving decision that will bring her peace for her life and a healing resolution for a difficult situation.

Thank you, Lord, for being a Provider in our times of need and a Healer when we hurt. Even when we stray from Your truth and have not followed your will, You are ready to forgive and redeem our mistakes. Help Keisha now, Lord. In Jesus Name I pray.